don't be so hard on yourself for being manipulative. revel in it. fuck everyone over. be an actress. be a professional bitch. see if you can push everyone who cares/cared about you out of your life. never let anyone near you. live alone. go get rich. give everyone a blowjob. look at them with soft eyes. see what you can get them to beleive. hell- get yourself a male harem. turn them into shadows. truth is relative, right? maybe you can even shatter kindness. turn everything into a nihilist joke. howl while steering your life at 53 miles per hour into a fucking tree. mess up your own back. see if your own soul is totaled.