message to friend on my current state
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that's it i guess. i just really miss you. really miss all my friends.  really miss life i think.  
i'm chilling, i'm pretty secluded here just chilling at a chill school with no friends applying 
to a billion colleges where i don't know anyone and don't really want to go. chilling in a chill 
rock band with no real fans and no real prospect and hardly any real pleasure from it anymore.  
chilling writing music with my friends and myself in mind but music which could easily 
never be heard or noted by a soul.  chilling wasting my time on a new ozma website which 
noone really sees. chilling sending email without actually contacting any other human form 
of life. chilling wishing i was spending more time with my family. chilling after school in 
the music lab til the late evening before returning home having missed dinner. chilling with 
horrible eating and exercise habits. chilling with a trampoline in the backyard that wants me 
and boy do i want her but it's cold and dark and it just doesn't get pounced on like it should. 
substitute the word "female" for the word "trampoline" in the last sentence and you have a 
description of my chilling love life. i still find time to lose myself... probably too much... 
mostly in esoteric art or music which i can't really talk to anyone else about because they 
just don't see it like i do. chilling with a true love 800 miles north and the car and the gas 
and the road and the will to go get her but there's too many things left to finish back on the 
ranch before i can realize that dream. so just believe me when i say i'm chilling.

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by daniel brummel, 1998